Life = lousy insignificant feelings everyday

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I am looking for the least responsibility in life

I know this goal is frivolous because life is good at stacking all the bullshit. That’s how you get these people in their 40’s and 50’s just working like slaves until they retire or die. They can’t even stop the wheel that they’ve been spinning. But fuck it one thing I’m good at is having unrealistic goals. Cuz, well, I’m a bum. I’ll never have kids. I’ll never have a wife. I’ll never go to company picnics. Never make someone truly happy. Never make myself happy. 

I will disappoint you. That’s something I know i’m good at. Check my references: Everyone I’ve ever known.  

Going through the motions

THe crickets voice wafts through thte air tickling my ear drum

THe shine of the screen blinds the truth

disentisizes my mind leaving me drooling for guidance

Moving forward in time but not in life

Stagnant but on point quite poignant in fact

Magic of the night sky sparkling aabove me

Seeing pavement is painful when all I want is to be free

Leaves flowing through the cigarette smoke

Living so high, too high to remark

Motionless, quiet, calming situation

Needing to stop thinking thinking to stop the needs.

I just want to die

I’m tired of the disappointments no matter how insignificant they may be. 

Even at my happiest there is no hope

My body is defined. My mind is defined. It is all preorchestrated for me. Those who feel that they somehow made choices in their lives. False. Your choices were fabricated. Your choices were narrowed. Your dreams were closed. 

My days are now filled trying to drown out the shit in my life. I hate my life. It’s not like I chose this. I also did not decide to hate. I actually pushed for hope. I wanted life to work out. But, it wont and I’m empty. 

I

FUCK i just wish I was loved.